My late mother used to say, “You are responsible for the choices you make. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are making the choices for someone else other than yourself!”

Her words have stayed with me over the years. They taught me, for lack of a better expression, to “count the cost” before making any decision because every decision has consequences, good or bad.

Her words would ring in my ears whenever I was about to make a bad decision. I would remember that she wasn’t always going to be there to guide me, and I would think twice before going ahead with it.

But there are two sides to every decision. I couldn’t be cautious with one decision and careless with another.

Over the years, this has contributed to me avoiding making decisions for myself out of fear of making the wrong choice. Obviously, I can’t avoid making decisions altogether. So, more often than not, when I have to make a decision, I become indecisive. I tend to think deeply about my options, which sometimes makes it difficult for me to make decisions quickly, especially when I’m pressed for time.

Last month, I met up with a friend for lunch during my lunch break. Normally, I would browse the menu before the appointment so that by the time I got to the restaurant, I would already know what I wanted to eat.

This time, however, I didn’t. We had decided where to eat on the spot, so I hadn’t had time to look at the menu beforehand.

We got to the restaurant, were given the menus, and the waiter gave us a few minutes to decide. When he eventually came back to take our orders, my friend had already made up her mind about what she wanted, and I hadn’t.

The waiter asked me what I was going to have. I told him I didn’t know and asked what he would recommend. I then turned to my friend and asked what I should get. She asked me what I felt like eating, and I didn’t know.

The waiter stood there waiting for my order, and I started to sweat. I felt the pressure to make up my mind, and quickly. So, I settled on waffles.

I had only eaten breakfast that day, and having waffles for lunch wasn’t necessarily the best idea. But waffles were a safe choice. They were hard to get wrong.

Later that day, I wished I had ordered something else. I was feeling a bit sick, and I also love trying new meals at restaurants. In that moment, my fear of making the wrong choice was greater than my desire to try something new.

But there was another time when my desire to explore new things got the better of my fear.

One time, I went out with a friend. We both loved trying different cuisines, so we decided to visit a Turkish restaurant. I don’t remember exactly what I ordered, but the meal had lamb in it. At the time, I had never eaten lamb before.

And I didn’t like it. It was disappointing, to say the least. I think it was my first time venturing into a new cuisine, and I was met with disappointment.

The experience wasn’t entirely bad, though, because I learnt something new about my preferences. I just hated that I had spent my money on something I didn’t enjoy.

But how was I going to know I wouldn’t enjoy it unless I tried it?

What if I try something new and find that the experience isn’t worth the cost? But what if I choose the familiar option and miss out on the opportunity to experience something new?

I want to try new things to expand my palate and broaden my experiences, but I also want those new experiences to be good ones.

Ideally, I want to enjoy the new experience. But because I don’t know whether I’ll enjoy it beforehand, I tend to lean towards the familiar choice.

Why do I have to choose one or the other?

Why can’t I have both?

If I have to choose one, how do I choose?