Hi friend,

Welcome back to Tales of Grace—I’m so glad you’re here. This week, as part of the Redefining Healing Series, I want to share something deeply personal: my journey to finding freedom from panic attacks.

For nearly ten years ago, I battled panic attacks without even realizing what was happening. I just thought I loved being around people and dreaded being alone. And it’s true—I do love people. I cherish time with my loved ones, and I enjoy meeting new faces. But looking back, I now see that my fear of being alone wasn’t just a personality trait. It was a deeper struggle I wasn’t aware of. And as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.

That bliss shattered when I moved to a different campus, far from the familiar comfort of my friends. Suddenly, the security of always having people around was gone. The loneliness felt unbearable, and my panic attacks became more intense. For a while, having a roommate helped ease the fear, but it was only temporary—a bandage over a much deeper wound.

At first, I couldn’t understand why the panic attacks were happening. But then, a pattern started to emerge. Every time I was alone or even felt alone, the panic attacks would come. The silence was deafening, and the weight of being by myself felt overwhelming. But the real issue wasn’t just loneliness—it was how I saw myself.

The truth is, I didn’t like myself.

Because I didn’t like myself, I hated being alone with my own thoughts. Even though I was a Christian, even though I knew in my mind that God loved me, my heart struggled to believe it.

And when the person you don’t like is yourself, where do you even run?

I had no choice but to face the truth. I had to confront the lies I had believed for so long.

One day, I found myself asking: Why am I so quick to believe the lies about myself, but so hesitant to believe what God says about me?

With the help of the Holy Spirit, I began praying a new prayer: Lord, help me see myself the way You see me.

I wish I could say that God healed me overnight. He didn’t.

And I don’t know why. I know He can heal instantly—He’s more than able. But sometimes, He chooses to take us on a journey instead.

And for me, healing wasn’t a single moment. It was a daily, intentional choice. I had to immerse myself in Scripture and let His truth sink into my heart. I held onto Psalm 139 like a lifeline, reminding myself that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. And every time I felt alone, I played I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe, singing the words over myself until they became my reality.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment my panic attacks stopped. All I know is that, somewhere along the way, the fear lost its grip. It’s been years since my last panic attack, and today, I can honestly say that I love my own company. I can only thank the Lord for that!

And I wholeheartedly believe that if God did this for me, He can do it for you too.

If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, I want you to know that you’re not alone. And if you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear your story—share in the comments or reach out to me through the contact page.

And if you’re looking for a way to process your thoughts and emotions through faith, I truly believe the Loved Beyond Measure journal will help. You can pre-order it here or find it on Amazon. So many people have shared how it’s been a source of healing, and I pray it can be the same for you.

With love and grace,
Founder of Tales of Grace